A few days ago, I submitted my finished book manuscript to my publisher.

I did it. I wrote my second book.

(Well, “finished" is an overstatement, because I don’t think a book is ever finished. And it will still have to undergo the editing process.)

It was hard to press send on the email, even though I’m very used to pressing publish.

I was worried that what I had produced wasn't good enough and I was already anticipating negative reviews on Amazon. Duh.

I knew it was imperfect. I knew I could have made it even better.

But I also knew that my work was done here.

I knew in my heart that this product of my writing was the best I could offer to the world right now at this point in time.

I knew that I gave it my highest excitement during the writing process.

Perfectionism is an illusion anyway. Shipping is more important than obsessing over details and perfecting a creation.

Now it is time to release it, to surrender and trust.

The letting go process without strings attached is an important part in the creative process.

And yet, I struggled to press send, because I am the worst judge of my own creations. And so are we all.

But it's not our job to do that. Our job is to create and put our creations out into the world. We don’t get to decide if it is good or bad.

It is also not our job to worry about the critics in the world who receive our creations.

We are here to create. That is all.

The problem is that social media f*cked us up. And now our self worth depends on how others receive our work.

The other problem is that our standards of consumption are usually higher than what we can produce.

It’s like we read a book by an established writer like Zadie Smith or Isabelle Allende or Haruki Murakami. And then we compare ours to theirs. That just sets us up for judgement.

I wrote the book as if the words were flowing through me. So I don’t get to judge whether they are good enough or not, they came from a higher source. I am just the messenger, the transmitter of the message.

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Now, here is the deal though. The not-so-good news.

While having finished the manuscript is opening up all this new time and space to work on my other creative outlets again and create content for you - the universe decided to step in.

It has other plans for me.

It wants me to face some more darkness

It wants me to grow more. It wants me to take responsibility in areas of my life where I haven’t been.

So it threw a major unexpected surprise at me.

One that broke my heart.

One that requires me to surrender and trust and let go even more.

And so I will be spending a lot of time facing my shadows and healing my heart for a while.

And whenever I find the creative space in my heart and mind, I will create and I will press publish. Because it’s my well of inner peace and fulfillment.

In the meantime, I am grateful to have a great support system and all the healing tools at my disposal here in Bali.

My new video:

The things we do every day create our lives.

My new video is my attempt at giving you my minimalist approach to healthy habits, ie. my mininalist energy management program.

It doesn’t have to be complicated.

Watch here:

​A Minimalist Approach to Healthy Habits + Self Care​

Stuff I enjoyed this week:

1. Netflix Show - Joseph Campbell and The Power of Myth​
   As creators, storytelling is key. It's a skill. To really grasp the essentials of it, I highly recommend diving into Campbell's work. This is a fantastic interview series recorded just before he died.
   Along with that, have a read into How to Find Your Bliss: Joseph Campbell on What It Takes to Have a Fulfilling Life​
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2. Article - The Smartphone vs The Camera Industry​
   ​Back in the day, a phone was just a phone… Today, the smartphone is more of a camera and personal computer. This post takes an interesting look at the history and future of these developments.
   ​
3. Podcast - Peter Attia x Sam Harris: The Transformative Power of Mindfulness​
   You've got to listen to this conversation. Two of my favourite people riff on all things mindfulness and meditation. They go deep in the best ways possible. I was sad when the episode was over, it was that good.
   ​
4. Life Tool - What is Breathwork?​
   I just did two pretty intense breathwork sessions in the last couple of days with a teacher here in Bali to support the emotional processing in my body as I am going through this transformative time in my life. I have done a bit of breathwork in the past and I can truly say that it is one of the most powerful tools - and it is readily available. I am releasing so much sadness and it's life-changing. Highly recommended you try it out. This video by Sara explains it all.
   ​

Quote I can't stop thinking about:

“Everything you need to know about life can be learned from a genuine and ongoing attempt to write. It is impossible to spend your days writing and not begin to know your own mind.”

Dani Shapiro in Still Writing​

I hope you enjoy my little letters.

To love and growth and shadows and light.

You're amazing.

Conni.

PS:

I'm currently not active on Instagram and more interested in deeper writing, podcasting and making videos with a purpose.

I am however a little more active on Twitter and it's fun to engage in cool conversations and connect to other creators.

For example, check out my tweet about a cool single-focus hack on your computer for better productivity.

And if you feel it, follow me.

And also people like Anne-Laure LeCunff or Vizi Andrei or Pieter Levels. Or go and browse, there is so much interesting stuff happening on Twitter that actually makes you think.

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Conni Biesalski

Nomadic Creator. Minimalist Vegan Surf-Yogi. Online Filmmaker+ Photographer. YouTuber and Podcaster.

I help mindful creators make more magic.

​My website.​

Connect with me on Instagram | YouTube | Twitter​

Listen to my podcast.