Stormy greetings from Portugal ⛈️ I just spent a week finishing up my 3-year Somatic Experiencing training in Cologne/Germany last week. Brought home a cold, recovered and here we are :) Enjoy today's breather issue!

I remember the day a couple of years ago, when I was walking with our dog Toni on our favorite beach here in Portugal.

We were playing fetch as per usual and as I looked out over the Atlantic Ocean, it suddenly hit me -

I barely recognized the life I used to have. And wow, it feels wonderful.

Because my life now looked very different to my life back then:

It was very unstable and all over the place.

Ever since I was a teenager, I had been moving a lot. Different countries, different schools, different universities…always something different.

And in 2009, I got a one-way ticket to India and embraced a life of constant travel, spending a few months in one place at the most.

For 13 years, I didn't have a permanent home while I was roaming the world indefinitely. Long-term rental leases freaked me out.

I went to lots of retreats, events, workshops, and ceremonies. Like, you might as well have called me a peak experience addict.

I was a typical Type A personality - building businesses, always striving, always pushing, more more more.

Nothing was ever enough.

Lots of ups and lots of downs. Flying high followed by deep depression.

My lifestyle and unhealthy relationships reflected my nervous system and vice versa.

I was a dysregulated mess and my body was in constant pain.

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Fast forward to today:

I've now lived in the same place and house for more than three years.

I barely feel the need to travel anymore (although we do "vacation" occasionally).

I'm married and in a healthy relationship.

I have a dog.

I barely go to workshops or retreats.

I love my slow and settled life, where every day looks and feels very similar.

And again: my lifestyle reflects my nervous system and vice versa.

I feel grounded and at peace.

Now here is what I understand about myself today:

I would never be where I am today with myself and my physical health if I had continued to live my former life.

I needed to make a drastic change in order to heal.

I needed to create a life that would accommodate a regulated nervous system.

I needed to slow down…a lot.

It surely didn't happen overnight.

It was a series of new, small and big decisions that I made - not from trauma, but from a whole, integrated self.

And on this journey, a part of me needed to die (in other words: be integrated). The one that was constantly craving activation and stress and drama. It was time to take her out of the driver's seat and allow her to take a break.

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Trauma and early conditioning is a whole-system adaptation and influences all our decisions:

It shapes where you live, who you love, what you tolerate, what you avoid, what you call "normal," how your nervous system orients toward safety vs. threat, and the rhythms that quietly run your days.

So when you start to actually unwind those patterns, re-condition yourself, and heal from past woundings… your external life often has to reconfigure to match the new internal reality.

Your lifestyle, career, and relationships might have to do a 180 in order to create an environment in which your nervous system, body, and psyche can heal (and flourish).

It might mean quitting your job, leaving a relationship, moving to a new place, saying no a lot more, setting new boundaries, slowing down…

This journey is about coming back into true alignment based on your authentic nature (rather than your traumatized and conditioned self).

It's like upgrading your operating system, because old apps (relationships, work structures, coping mechanisms) stop being compatible.

Here are some examples:

• When hypervigilance softens, chaotic environments that once felt stimulating suddenly feel intolerable.
• When you stop fawning, certain friendships or romantic dynamics collapse because they relied on your overgiving.
• When your inner numbness thaws, the job you white-knuckled through might suddenly feel soul-sucking.
• When your nervous system learns real safety, the places, people, and habits built on coping strategies stop fitting.

If you keep living like you always have, your nervous system doesn't have the chance to come back into balance.

Healing isn't just about changing how you feel and think, it's about re-architecting your entire ecology to support that new nervous system state.

The tricky thing is - it's often only possible once we do the deep inner work with the parts that need the unaligned life in its place.

Because these parts will sabotage change until you really see and feel them. But once you do, they can start relaxing and your new, regulated life can unfold organically.

And just like that, one day, you will go for a walk and it will hit you out of nowhere - wow, my life is nothing like it used to be and wow, it feels wonderful.

👀 Recommended Resources 👀

🎙️ Podcast Series

The Shimmer Series by Erick Godsey

If you spend more time than you want to on screens, then make it your mission to listen to this podcast series. It offers a compelling framework for understanding technology's role in our lives and our collective story, along with practical solutions that are deceptively simple (yet challenging) to implement. Erick is a one of a kind thinker and teacher - I discovered his work back in 2018 and can say with confidence that once you get sucked into his world, it will change you.

📱 Smartphone App

Sleep.ai Tracking App

There is nothing more important than the quality of your sleep. But most people have no idea how bad their's actually is. Which is where an app like Sleep.ai comes in - it's a sleep-tracking platform that uses artificial intelligence to monitor and analyze your sleeping patterns. The cool thing: it doesn't require a wearable.

🎥 Video Podcast

Why Proper Breathing Is the Key to Optimal Health

This week I revisited an incredible conversation between Dr. Mercola and Dr. Peter Litchfield on why most of us are literally breathing ourselves into stress. Litchfield is one of the few who bridges psychology and respiratory physiology and explains how overbreathing quietly lowers CO₂, constricts blood flow, and triggers everything from anxiety to brain fog. These patterns are learned - often from old emotional trauma - and can be unlearned once you start noticing what your breath is actually doing. A must-listen if you geek out on the body-mind connection as much as I do.

🔬 Research Article

The A52 Breath Method: A Narrative Review of Breathwork for Mental Health and Stress Resilience

This 2025 review introduces the A52 Breath Method—a simple 5-second inhale, 5-second exhale, and 2-second hold pattern that's grounded in solid research. The author analyzed 30 studies and found that slow, diaphragmatic breathing consistently improves heart rate variability, vagal tone, and emotional regulation while reducing stress, anxiety, and even PTSD symptoms. Benefits showed up in sessions as short as 2 minutes, making this an accessible tool for anyone dealing with stress. While the A52 protocol itself hasn't been tested in clinical trials yet, it synthesizes elements from breathing techniques that have proven effective. Worth exploring if you're looking for evidence-based breathwork that doesn't require apps or special equipment.

📝 Essay

CBT Research Doesn’t Show What You Think It Does

"Nearly all the research trials focus on very brief treatments of only 8-12 sessions. Therapy is over before meaningful psychological change even begins. These abbreviated treatments are a researcher’s fantasy: they bear little resemblance to psychotherapy in the real world. This is why I say researchers are studying fictions of their own invention."

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🪐 What's Happening in My Universe 🪐

• 📸 Had a big photo production for our new Intesoma brand overhaul. New website, new logo and more coming soon.
• 🎓 Started a couple new trainings on Coherence Therapy, Embodied Relationships (based on Somatic Experiencing) and the Cartography of the Psyche (based on Stan Grof's work). I love being a student just as much as being a teacher.
• 🏋 In the planning stages of setting up a home gym! Possibly a little home sauna as well. Cannot wait. Any tips appreciated.
• 🎊 Off to Austria to celebrate my mom's 70th birthday this weekend

I always love hearing from you, just hit reply and say hi and let me know what you enjoyed the most in this week's newsletter edition!

What resonated most? Where are you in your journey?

Keep breathing, keep feeling, stay awesome!

With warmth and care,

Conni. 🐋

PS:

I am slowly starting to finally work on the curriculum for my brand new group coaching program. It's going to be my life's work so far and I can't wait to share it with you.

In the meantime, join my self-study course to get a step-by-step manual on how learn to rewire your nervous system.

Here is how you can work with me:

→ 🫁 Breathwork + Nervous System Foundations Course

Learn how to regulate and rewire your nervous system. Access more calm, energy and focus by using the power of the breath. It will teach you how to properly and safely use the remote control (aka your breath) for your nervous system. Get it here.

→ 🎓 12-Month / 500-Hour Intesoma Breathwork Teacher Training (🇩🇪🇨🇭🇦🇹)

If you are passionate about the breath and feel the calling to share it with the world, learn to become a breath coach and nervous system specialist. Applications for our 2026 training are opening soon. Waitlist open.

→ 👥 1:1 Somatic Inner Work Mentoring (waitlist)

Heal old wounds, integrate unprocessed traumas and feel stored emotions that may have been holding you back from living the life you truly want. Together, we will get you out of your head and into your body.

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Conni Biesalski

Somatic Trauma & Attachment Healing Therapist (Somatic Experiencing©️ & NARM)
Nervous System Specialist
Breathwork Teacher Trainer & Meditation Teacher
Pain Reprocessing Therapist
Co-Founder Intesoma©️ Breathwork Teacher Training​

“Regulate your nervous system, process your emotions, and come home to your body.”